A few years ago Mike and I were seeking His will in my work situation and there wasn't an easy answer. It would mean a lot more money but also a lot more hours worked. Stay put? Move on? What is the answer? At the time I really wished that God would have sent me a Facebook message or a text. Wait a minute....He did send me a message.
Psalm 37:4, 5, 7 - Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass... Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for Him.
God's message to me then and now is that I am to delight myself in the Lord. But exactly what does that mean? I believe it means that I am to seek my happiness and contentment from God, not from my husband, my job, my abilities, or my status.
Ok - if I find my happiness in God He will give me the desires of my heart. Does this mean that anything I want I'll get? I don't think so! I believe it means that when I'm seeking Him my desires will be regulated by His desires. I'll only desire things that are within His will. He will implant me with His desires.
So, 1st I'm to delight in God then I'm to commit my way to Him and trust Him. That's a little harder. It means I have to give Him my burden, my worries, my anxiety, my fears. I can hear you now, "But I don't want to give it totally to God - then I'm not in control anymore!" EXACTLY! We're supposed to give our confusion and uncertainty to Him. He has our best interests in mind and He WILL bring what's best for us. I remember a praise song we used to sing at Cedarville, "I cast all my cares upon you. I lay all of my burdens down at your feet. And any time I don't know what to do, I will cast all my cares upon you." That's precisely what God is asking me (and you) to do - Lay our burdens at His feet!
Now for the hard part - REST and WAIT! Rest in his promises, in his faithfulness, in his willingness to bless! Wait for him to bring my circumstance about. He may seem to take a long time. It may seem he's not working, that he doesn't care. But he says, “Don't worry, don't be anxious or troubled.” HE is worth waiting for!!!
When I'm facing a decision or a moment of uncertainty/confusion God wants me to seek my happiness from HIM, commit my path to him, trust in him, rest in his promises, and wait for him to work!
A couple days after writing that in my journal I wrote the following:
Well, I thought I had an answer. I thought the door was open. Now, I'm not so sure. I am tempted to feel discouraged and give up. We're studying Deuteronomy in CBS this year and chapter 31 has some wisdom:
The LORD your God himself will go over before you...Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread...for it is the LORD your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you...Be strong and courageous...It is the LORD who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.
It's almost as if God is speaking right to me. I'm not going into the Promised Land without Moses, I'm not facing a battle for the land God's promised me. However, I am facing a hard decision. I can rest in the promise that God is going before me, He's going with me, and he will never leave me! I'm still confused and unsure what God wants. The door still seems to be shut. But God has prepared my path, He is walking with me, and will never leave my side.
The result of that time of indecision and confusion was that I left Mother/Baby at Carilion and returned to BRWC job sharing the Nurse Manager position. I had to trust God to lead me where He could best use me and where I would grow closer to Him. Yes, there have been times when I've wondered if I truly heard God telling me to leave Carilion and go back to BRWC but I've never regretted it. I know He opened the doors for me to return to the center where I get paid to do what I love!