Last Wednesday I found out my laptop was broken. My parents had given it to me for Christmas last year - so it's less than a year old. I have no idea how it happened either which was maddening. I took it to 2 different computer shops and they estimated it would cost $200 to fix it but I could buy a new one for $140. Needless to say, I was greatly disappointed and mad at myself for not being more careful.
Then, when the kids and I were stacking firewood Alec, the 10yo, dropped a log on my foot! I just knew it was broken - it hurt so bad. So I'm hobbling around the house, mad at myself for breaking my laptop! I was in a foul mood!!
However, I remembered I had a coupon to Dairy Queen for buy one Blizzard, get one free. So I texted Mike asking if he wanted to go on a date with me to DQ. He of course said yes since he loves ice cream almost as much as I do. :)
BUT….I couldn't get his laptop nor our desktop computer to send the coupon to our printer. I was even more upset! ALL my plans were ruined! When he got home I dumped all 3 problems on him at once (Mistake #1). He tried resending the coupon to the printer without much success. Meanwhile I'm trying to get the kids in gear to leave for Awana and youth group. As I hobble into the bedroom to check on his progress I tell him to just forget it - we need to leave and I think I do need to go to Urgent Care for an xray (Mistake #2 - he'd told me to go as soon as it happened).
He gets more than a little upset with me that I've dropped these problems in his lap and now I'm rushing him out the door. I'm confused as to why he's so upset until I stopped to think and pray.
Lysa says, "Am I trying to prove or improve? Is my desire in this conflict to prove I am right or to improve the relationship? When it's the latter, I seek to understand where the other person is coming from and care enough about the relationship to fight for it, rather than against it. Instead of reacting out of anger, I pause and let the Holy Spirit redirect my 1st impulses. Then I tackle the ISSUES, not the PERSON." (pg 93)
Was I really trying to improve the relationship? If I responded to him I'd be attacking HIM, not the issues of the coupon and the computer and my foot. I quickly asked God to calm my heart, to control my tongue, and to forgive me for not caring for my husband. He'd been working all day and now I expected him to solve all my problems in 2 minutes. :O
Then I apologized to Mike for not explaining myself, for dumping the problems on him, and for not showing care for him. We ended up having a nice date at the Urgent Care and sitting in our car eating cheese and crackers waiting for the kids to finish up at church.
Let me tell you, in the past, I'd have come "unglued" in response to Mike confronting me. This time, the Holy Spirit grabbed me before that could happen.